Walking with Wolves

Sometimes it takes a life-shattering event to make you reconsider why you do certain things. Sometimes it's not even your own event.

My mum's slow journey back from two strokes has allowed me to take stock of behaviour embedded since my childhood. Behaviour that was never going to help me succeed at the level I know I'm capable of.

I've been given a rare opportunity, to examine and reject not only my ingrained behaviour but also the ongoing triggers. Now I need to create new patterns and new paths for myself.

I'm starting with walking with my own Wolves, one at a time, until I've got the whole pack heading in my direction.

Which Wolf would you choose to tame first?

How Do You Drive Your Business?

Stick shift or automatic transmission?

Are you running your business on automatic pilot, or are you in control of where you're going and what your business is doing?

I've just regained control, after months where I let my Life! The Soap Opera moments take over, and I've had one of my better weeks of retail orders because I changed my viewpoint.

There are two reasons for the change. Firstly, a CD set by Darren Hardy, a man who is becoming more and more of a mentor with every replay of his audio and reread of his books - Making The Shift. A brilliant compilation of timely advice; I can't recommend it highly enough.

Secondly, I took control of my overactive flight v. fight response and got myself a self-hypnosis CD - Develop Your Self Confidence (Diviniti). Fear is a natural part of our lives, and our reactions can support our growth as well as safeguard us, but in my case, my reaction to any stress stimuli got out of control. This is due to a rather nasty relationship that ended 19 years ago. Unfortunately, I'd been programmed by then. Death threats can do that to you. So can the uncertainty of not being able to trust those closest to you.

I'm delighted to say that I can feel the difference to my self-confidence already, after only 9 days. I'm slightly calmer, a little more open and I'm feeling a lot stronger within myself. I feel able to stand up for myself where before, I would have either over-asserted myself or morphed into a human doormat. I'm sure there's a lot more self-healing to do, but I can see a way forward for the first time.

I have an inner certainty about myself and my Kleeneze business that was lacking before. That can only be good for both me and my team.

Thanks to Gavin for seeing the "more in me than I can see". I won't let you down.

Feel The Fear - It Works!

It seems like "Feel the Fear" is the buzz phrase right now - it's the subject of training videos, such as Eric Worre's, and Susan Jeffer's classic Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway has been republished for the umpteenth time.

Never one to stand in the way of a trend, I decided to take a chance and have my own Feel the Fear moment. I suffer from horrendous performance anxiety - I'm so scared of speaking, singing or playing solo that the mere thought will start me shaking. But friends encouraged me to sing a capella in a music festival class this year and, much to my surprise, I found myself sending off an entry form.

If I'd read the biography of the adjudicator, I wouldn't have dared enter. Having entered, I didn't want to let my friends down, so I spent the hour before my name was called, feeling terrifed and nauseous, trying to remember the words to my chosen song. I can't remember singing. I can vaguely remember applause. I didn't stop shaking for 20 minutes afterwards.

The adjudicator, a multi-tasking teacher, academic, choir master, author, arranger and a capella expert (!) described my efforts as "a promising performance", with "a lot of vocal strengths, and a really interesting voice quality" (?!) and "good diction ... clearly felt and expressed emotions..." I was too scared to asked in what way my voice was interesting. Maybe next time.

There will be a next time. Scary as it was, I've proved to myself that I can actually stand in front of an audience and survive. Next year, I'll do a lot better.

Plus, I've got no excuse now with anything related to my Kleeneze business. The only thing that terrifies me more than performing in public is holding a live cockroach (and that's never going to happen!); business building fears are small by comparison.

How do you cope with your fears?